The freedom that feels so strange

Hello!

Gosh I haven't been here for so long. I just... read someone's blogpost and decided that its about time I blog again too [though blogging is like no longer in fashion, but i'm a non-conformist ALTHOUGH i have FB, but at least I don't have twitter and I dont play any of the lame FB games] So yes. I am back. And A levels are over. They have been for like almost 3 weeks. I can't believe it. It seems so long ago, yet I have no idea what I've been doing for the past 3 weeks. I mean I've been pretty busy but for the life of me, I don't know how I've filled all the days. Still, I'm not complaining. I've done lots of things I've been wanting to do.. like meeting old friends, going cycling (=D), playing TENNIS after all this time, doing lame things and like, gone clubbing (just for the experience)so, you know, its been fun so far. And I finally have time to daydream as much as i want, which is such a relief. Hahaha.

I really can't stand it when people who really really hated school back when we were still in it now say that they really miss it. Its ok if, you know, you occasionally moaned about school (like who doesn't, man), and about not having a life (cos we really didn't) but like those hardcore people who really hated school and thought it was a complete waste of time... I mean, you're out of it now, hello. So be happy! Its really annoying when you start reminiscing about how great school was and how much you loved it, when you totally did not when you were in it.

I mean, I understand to a certain extent, that it's really weird without school and kind of aimless. Like, I feel it too, it's strange to just be floating around, going out, and pretty much wasting your life. At least school provided some kind of framework but now its all gone and your future is like a big blank space which will remain empty unless you take active action to fill it with something. [this is just for girls] But this is EXACTLY what you wanted when you were in school, so just enjoy it, and fill your future with stuff man. I don't know exactly what i want out of life either, I mean, I have a vague idea, but i'm only 18 so what do I really know right. The only thing i really do know is that I hate feeling aimless and that I hate not doing anything. Based on that its possible to work out stuff too, so yeah, you know. It's 'Time for Miracles' now! Gosh I love that song.

Ok that was like a really long blogpost. And I'm supposed to be finishing my application essay. Hahahaha I totally suck. Thank goodness all the secrecy is over though. It sucked! And btw, MSN is like so annoying, why on earth do people use it?!

WHY. IS. IT. SO. GREEN. WHY?!!! How on earth do you calibrate your screen? It appears to be a sign that I shouldn't upload photos.


You do amazing things, you know that? And it's not even your fault!


Four more days. FOUR!!! =DDD

A LEVELS

A LEVELS ARE IN TWO DAYS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

And what am I doing? I think I'm ona caffiene high, I swear this is NOT GOOOD. HOW CAN I BE HIGH WHEN A LEVELS ARE TWO DAYS AWAY?!!! And i've been high for the past THREE DAYS, WTH IS WRONG WITH ME !!!

And Matthew is such an idiot!!! he wants me to blog about why but I'm not going to, do it YOURSELF, TWIT. You're a big tadpole =DDD

I AM SO SCREWED FOR A's, and btw, being money minded is retarded!!!

I think this is me panicking, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahha

Last Day of School

Amazing. I cannot believe today was the last day! I actually feel kind of sad =( I realise that TJ's the school I've been in for the longest time - I've never stayed in a school for four whole years. Maybe that's why it feels so strange to be done with it. Though technically there's still A levels. Hahaha. Weird. Suddenly I realised how many things happened in TJ. I think I've a special memory in every single corner of the school, in every single classroom. This sounds so sad. But considering that I spent the majority of my time in the school compound for the past four years, it's quite understandable. (ESPECIALLY LAST YEAR. Last year was CRAZY. Well, and the first half of this year.) Hahaha. And I am a horrible photographer.

OH MY GOD, SHE'S ENGAGED.

A beautiful world?

I really wonder sometimes, you know. Whether you "feel what I feel, everytime that you are near."

Do you see that "there's "nothing standing in our way?"


Do you believe that "this love will stand, and never break?"


Have you "never thought this could be (you)"?


Would you "run a thousand miles to be by (my) side?"


And lastly,

Do you feel that "it's a beautiful world" because of me?


I really wonder if that's how you feel. Because you should. But you don't show it. You hardly ever give me what I ask for. Limited resources, unlimited wants - that's your basic rule isn't it? It sucks that you're so damn logical. You have ten million theories but you're also aware that most of the time they fail in the real world. So why do you even bother telling me all about them? It's not like I don't have a ton of other things to remember. I don't know how people survive long term relationships with you. It's frustrating to never have proof of your affection and always stab around in the dark. To take a tiny indication from you that something, whether good or bad, is going to happen, but to never know for sure. Never, until it's too late.


This is what I feel when I look at my economics notes.
The 'you' refers to econs.

Hahahahahha. I think I need to 'have a little patience' and stop listening to Take That songs.

Live in the present =)

My new philosophy. Well, ok technically, it's always been my philosophy but it's been revived recently. 2 hours ago, in fact, before Sammi called. (after such a long time, haha it was good!)Ironically it was revived by my ipod correctly interpreting my mood and playing 'Que Sera, Sera',which, if you think about it, is certainly the best (and pretty much only) way to live your life. If you don't want to spend all of it worrying about what is to come.

I'm happy =)

Ain't no sense in love

I'm afraid of the morning
I'm afraid of the light
You should come with a warning
Yeah, you should be wearing a sign
Oh that says you're beautiful trouble
So you better beware
One look and I was in right over my head.

Oh this misery
There's no place on earth I'd rather be.

>Chorus:<
Cos' you're not the one I need
You're just the one that I want
Makes a perfect sense to me
Cos' you're not the one I need
But you're the one that I want
There ain't no sense in love.
Ain't no sense of love

I try to stop myself
So many times
But I keep falling over
I keep crossing the line
Oh the heart of a gypsy and the soul of a stone
It's just a matter of time before you leave me alone.

Oh sweet misery
Fill my heart up and pour it all over me.

>Chorus<

It's not logical
But that's the way I feel
It's not logical
Psychological
It's heaven underneath my skin but it's hell out here
It's hell out here
There's no sense in love

>Chorus<


I know, I post lyrics way too often. But I totally love Take That. And these lyrics are really clever (especially the bolded parts)Plus like, there really isn't any sense in it. Something 'The Ugly Truth' explains only too clearly. Haha.

Anyway I totally understand why Stalin implemented the Berlin Blockade. And similarly, I know why it failed. Airlifts are so effective. But you know, even if the USSR had blocked the sky, there would be loopholes somewhere. So some form of supplies would always have been able to enter West Berlin, no question. It's impossible to block anything out completely. And instead of solving the problem, it caused the USSR many many more, with the official outbreak of the Cold War. A prime example of how we should learn from history. Also a prime example of how we don't.

I know the blockade part seems like it's totally random but it's really not. And it's not cos I've been mugging too much either ok! There's only one person who understands what on earth I'm talking about, and I don't think the person's gonna read this. Hahahahahaha, which again, means there "ain't no sense" in it.

WHY IS THE SKY WHITE AGAIN, WHY WHY WHY!!! I think that place is cursed for me! ARGH!




Btw, prelims are over, inglorious basterds is hilarious and the ugly truth is indeed ugly. Oh, and kboxing is really fun. Haha. Yay!

Persuasion

I think my persuasion skills are improving =) I managed to convince two people (who, btw, are normally insanely difficult to convince of anything they don't initially agree with) to listen to me today. HAHAHA. Matthew doesn't want to admit that I did it though. Whoops =X Though how he wants to deny it is beyond me, cos the facts point the other way. Haha. It's easy to stage accidents though. =P And anyway I think he had a ball of a time annoying me.

Well yeah. I feel like prelims should be over. Why is this silly paper so far away from the rest? Why do I feel like I should mug for it but at the same time there's like not much you can actually study? And WHY can't this paper be either history paper? WHY!

Oh, and the Orchard Ion is cool okay. Like seriously. Hahaha so is Peninsular Plaza [NO i am not a geek, and it's not just cool cos Cathay photos is in there either. And I don't particularily like that branch anyway] Peninsular has other uses okay =) And OMG yes I also convinced Denise to camwhore. UNBELIEVABLE!

Maybe I should go read 'Persuasion' by Jane Austen. LOL.

By the way, I'd just like to say thanks to Pak for being so encouraging during this period. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! You don't know how much it means to me =D

I wonder whether it is ever possible to actually feel prepared for an exam.

Coffee Bean rocks yo.

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere" - Vincent Van Gogh

He's a brilliant man. But he lived in Europe. I agree that there's beauty everywhere, but I think even he would find it difficult to find beauty in Changi a few years from now. Surely even he would not find 'Asia's greatest motorcar-racing-hub' particularly beautiful. I've no problem with the fact that we want to develop and raise our international prestige. Why car racing, though? Isn't the F1 night race enough? Who in their right mind would prefer racing around Changi than, say, in France for example, where the culture is really inherant? It's not like the car racing culture here is particularly big. I remember them saying last time that the area would be used for kite flying. Hahaha. Why that area? =(

Coffee Bean

It's really interesting to observe people at coffee bean. Actually right, it's just that every day there will be at least one interesting pair/group of people. Over the past week Matthew and I have had lots of strange encounters with couples, especially - really makes you question people these days. The way some of them behave is either really disturbing or very cute. But the guy and the two girls yesterday was definately the funniest. The way they jumped from topic to topic was totally amazing! [Matt wants me to inject that he actually correctly predicted the order of the topics the guy was going to cover. Which was incredible too, btw] And the singing adults were hilarious too. Haha. I'd love to just sit there the whole day and analyse the situations, but unfortunately history keeps calling, though supposedly its in the past.

I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING FRIENDS AND FAMILY EVER!!! =D



(I would make it bigger and brighter but blogger is being idiotic)

Xiu and Sammi are hilarious!!! And they're so sweet!!!